Laurie Hernandez is feeling psyched, nervous, and “a little overwhelmed,” which sounds about right for a star gymnast two months out from the 2021 Summer Olympic Games. “We prepped for this, so all is going as planned!” Hernandez tells SELF.
And after the COVID-19 pandemic pushed the Tokyo Games back a year, she’s ready to show the world what she’s got—again. “It’s really exciting to have the opportunity to get back out there and to show everybody what we’ve been working on,” says Hernandez, who brought home a silver (for the balance beam) and team gold from her 2016 Olympics debut in Rio, before taking a two-year hiatus from the sport.
As an elite athlete, the 20-year-old has to take care of her mind and body in order to perform under peak pressure. And over the last year, she’s been putting in that work, both while at practice and off the clock. “The last six months have been pretty consistent, thankfully, so I’ve had enough time to train and hopefully be as prepared as possible,” Hernandez says, in terms of both her physical fitness and mental well-being.
The importance of actively taking care of yourself is something Hernandez learned from a young age from one of her biggest champions: her dad, Tony, who has type 2 diabetes. “My parents have been my support system from the very beginning,” she says. “Watching my dad take care of himself and live with type 2 diabetes, it was quite interesting,” explains Hernandez, who along with other members of Team USA is partnering with Eli Lilly and Trulicity (a type 2 diabetes treatment). “Since I’ve been conscious and aware and able to perceive things, I’ve always seen him prick his finger and check his blood sugar.”
Hernandez’s memories of her dad cheering her on go equally far back. “He’s always been there,” she says. “He’s always showing up as best as he can for competitions, or if he can’t be there, trying to FaceTime or shoot me a text. His support has been consistent, and I’m the luckiest person.”
Hernandez spoke to SELF about the intensity of Olympics training, her creative outlets during the pandemic, making peace with performance anxiety, and how she’s evolved as an athlete since 2016.
SELF: Looking back on this year, how have you been taking care of yourself? What were some of your coping mechanisms during the pandemic?
Laurie Hernandez: Well, do you want the good ones or the bad ones? [Laughs]
We want all of them! Everyone needs a mix.
Oh, for sure. Well, take these as you wish. I think watching movies and TV shows throughout the pandemic has definitely been a lot of fun. Just completely diving into fiction onscreen or through books. I’ve had a great time leaving, like, mentally.
It’s also been super inspiring. After watching some of my favorite fictional shows, there’s a feeling of wanting to write one. Because of the pandemic, I’ve had time, which is not something I ever have, so I was able to take a screenwriting class and an acting class for a couple of months. So that became like a little outlet. Like, “All right, every Thursday I have acting from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.” because I was on the East Coast, and it was a UCLA online class. So that definitely inspired creative writing and has been a big coping mechanism. And music! Everybody loves music.
Outside of your new creative outlets, how else do you take care of your mental health?
What’s really interesting about having my job essentially be my hobby as well is that on days when I’m feeling a little rough or kind of gross, and not really wanting to do anything, but then knowing I have practice, it forces me to move. Having that freedom of movement and being able to go and exercise, it makes my body feel good. It makes me feel good.
Then there are times where moving and gymnastics are the reason why I need an outlet. So I like to come home and learn to cook or try to make a new dish. Or call my friends and connect with somebody.
What has the journey of training for the Olympics and getting into that peak physical shape been like?
It’s been very important to have friends who are also professional athletes and Olympic hopefuls. Because there’s just this chaotic style of training inside and outside of practice that happens before the Olympics that not many people can understand. So it’s essentially been a lot of bringing it in the gym, and then leaving practice and doing my best to leave whatever happened at practice.
But there’ll be times where I’ll be trying to go to sleep, and then I’m suddenly visualizing routines in my brain. That’s how I know it’s mid-season—my brain is doing extra numbers in my sleep, essentially. But it’s what I did at 16, I would think about it consistently. Just because when you’re fully connected to it when the pressure is on, it makes that moment a lot easier to bear. So, lots of that! I’m real fun to be around. [Laughs]
Are you feeling a big sense of pressure leading up to your Olympics return?
Yeah, there’s always pressure, unfortunately. Most of it probably comes from myself. But there’s also a lot of outward pressure in having already done it. People know my name, they know the style of gymnastics that I do, they know the skills that I have done before. So a lot of people are looking to that. Hopefully, there won’t be a huge comparison—like, “Let’s see what she’s doing now versus at 16,” because that’s not the goal.
The goal is to get back out there in the body and the age and the brain that I have now and see how well I can do. So that’s the biggest thing, and that can feel like pressure sometimes. But at the end of the day, I’m just reminding myself that I’m doing this because it’s a choice, and I want to be there. If I want out, I can be done. But every time I give myself the option, I want it. I do want it, and I do want to do well.
How do you feel like you’ve changed as a gymnast since age 16? Has your personal growth and path shaped who you are on the floor?
I like to think so. I do think that the way that I do gymnastics now, at least to me, feels different. To other people, I don’t know if it looks any different, because of course, it’s the same me that was doing gymnastics before. But mentally, when I’m doing skills, I’m able to look at them in a different way.
And I notice it when I’m getting ready to compete. I remember being 16 and, like, I’m not nervous. I’m fine. I’m so confident, so great. Everything is wonderful! I don’t have a stomach ache from being so anxious, my hands aren’t sweaty. Everything is dandy! And just completely spiraling and having my fingers crossed. Whereas now, I’ll walk up there and be like, You know what? I am really nervous, yes. Yep, there’s no denying that, there’s no pushing it away, there’s no swapping it out or removing it. I am nervous, and that’s okay. I think that that mindset switch is an example of how gymnastics works differently now.
Do you have any pre-meet rituals or things that you do to help manage those nerves and anxiety?
I always say I’m not superstitious, but looking back now, I totally am. Before the Winter Cup earlier this year, my roommate had gotten me this candle (this violet and patchouli travel tin from World Market), and it smelled really good. I lit it up for the first practice, at the hotel, and then I had a really good workout. So I got really neurotic that I had to light this candle before every practice, every meet. It turned into a whole thing. And I had a great competition. So I don’t know, it must have been the candle! Or the three years of training. I’m not sure which one did it. [Laughs]
The main or most consistent one, I’ve done since I was little. I remember telling my mom how I was feeling—I didn’t know there was a name for it, but of course, it was those pre-meet nerves and that pre-meet anxiety. I would notice my teammates being so chill, standing there for their turns, and I’m having a meltdown. And I just remember my mom saying that her mom (my grandma) said whenever she would see an event and felt nervous or inferior or smaller to it, to grab whatever it is and say that it’s yours. I catch myself doing that at every competition, and it feels really good.
All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
Related:
- Here’s What It’s Like to Be an Olympic Mental Skills Coach
- Simone Biles Felt ‘Called’ to Return to the Olympics for a Very Important Reason
- Watch Laurie Hernandez Thank Her Mom—and Try Not to Tear Up