Chrissy Teigen marked the one-year anniversary of the loss of her baby this week by sharing a heartbreaking tribute “to the son we almost had.”
Shortly after posting a series of sweet photos of her three-year-old, Miles, in honor of national Sons Day, Teigen shared a photo of herself from last September, when she lost her son Jack at 20 weeks due to a pregnancy complication. In the photo, Teigen is lying in a hospital bed sobbing, while her husband, John Legend, comforts her.
“A year ago you gave me the greatest pain I could ever imagine to show me I could survive anything, even if I didn’t want to,” Teigen wrote, reflecting on her devastating loss. “I didn’t get to take care of you, but you came and went to get me to love myself and take care of myself because our bodies are precious and life is a miracle.”
Teigen, 35, said that the loss of Jack is still very much with her. “They told me it would get easier, but yeah, that hasn’t started yet,” she wrote. “Mom and Dad love you forever.”
In an Instagram story, Teigen talked more about how deeply painful the one-year commemoration of Jack’s death is. “I didn’t sleep at all last night, as John can attest,” Teigen wrote. “I was up sick, sobbing, as my phone popped up the memory of being in the hospital exactly 1 year ago, losing our baby.” She continued, “So maybe I’m a little sensitive today but fuck off.” (Teigen seems to have been referring to her social media trolls and critics, writing, “Why people follow people they hate [is] beyond me,” in the next slide of her story.)
Teigen has been very candid about the loss of Jack. In October 2020, about a month after she and Legend first announced their loss on social media, Teigen wrote an emotional essay for Medium about her experience leading up to, during, and in the weeks after the tragedy. In the essay, Teigen explained that she was hospitalized for excessive bleeding due to a partial placental abruption, a rare and serious condition in which the placenta separates from the inner lining of the uterus. Teigen had to undergo induced labor once it became clear that, despite the doctors’ best efforts, Jack would not survive the pregnancy, and that her own life could soon be in danger too. “Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again,” Teigen wrote.