Honesty and emotional support are foundational parts of a healthy partnership. For Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes, being open and understanding with each other about their mental health journeys has been extremely helpful for strengthening the trust and intimacy in their relationship.
Cabello opened up about how she and Mendes take care of their mental health, individually and together, in a candid new interview with Glamour. “For better, for worse, we’re very transparent with each other. I think that’s why we can trust each other so much, because it’s a very 3D human relationship,” said Cabello, who has been dating Mendes since 2019.
The singers try to be honest with each other about when they’re behaving a certain way because they’re having a tough time, for instance. “I think even just the language of being like, ‘Hey, I’m sorry that I’ve been distant with you or snappy with you. I’m just struggling and I’m feeling kind of anxious.’ That level of transparency really helps a lot,” said Cabello, who has previously talked about dealing with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder. They also encourage each other to bring things up with their respective therapists. “I’ll be venting or ranting about something, and he’ll be like, ‘Have you talked to X about it?’ And I’ll be like, ‘No. I’ve got to do a session,’” Cabello explained. “And he’ll do the same thing to me.”
Mendes shared similar thoughts with Glamour, writing in an an email that he and Cabello provide each other with “an extreme amount of patience and understanding,” along with plenty of space. “I think the truth is that when you’re struggling with mental health, it turns you sometimes into the version of yourself that you don’t like to be,” Mendes explained, “and kind of loving and accepting your person through that, and being there for them through that, is life changing.”
Cabello gave an example of how the couple supports each other in tough moments. At a party for the MTV Video and Music Awards, Cabello noticed she was resorting to a coping mechanism she’s been working on—stress-eating past the point of comfort in order to calm her nerves. “I have this pattern of eating a lot when I’m anxious or uncomfortable,” Cabello explained. “It’s a comfort thing for me. I’ll just kind of become unconscious and zombie-eat a lot, and then I’ll feel sick.”
Because Cabello had previously confided in Mendes about that behavior pattern, he was able to offer her support when she asked for it. “I’ve told Shawn about that. So at the VMAs party, I was like, ‘I’m doing it.’ And he was like, ‘It’s okay. You’re doing it. That’s okay. Let’s just take a breath and not do that,’” Cabello recalled. “It’s really good for me to be able to talk about my patterns with someone.”
Cabello also talked about how her taking care of her mental health has evolved over the past couple of years. Having downtime and regular therapy during the pandemic helped the singer see some of the ways she was glossing over the importance of her own health and well-being in order to keep up with her career. Before going onstage, for instance, a nervous or exhausted Cabello would be too focused on putting on a good show to check in with herself on how she was feeling. “‘Am I even happy right now? Do I even feel healthy?’ I didn’t have the space to ask myself those questions,” Cabello said. “I’m still working a ton now, but after quarantine I’m able to be like, ‘You know what? Right now I’m just not happy. I need to change something.’”
Cabello shared that she found a new therapist and delved deeper into her mental health during the pandemic. With her previous therapist, “I wasn’t feeling like I was progressing in the areas I wanted to progress,” she said. “But when I switched, I found I was able to apply what they said in a way that benefited my mental health.” And while Cabello had turned to therapy before for help with shorter-term issues, she said that the additional downtime gave her the bandwidth to work on larger underlying issues. “Because I wasn’t stressed about all the things I needed to do the next day, I was able to slow down and have enough stability to look at my stuff.”