Finding the best strap-on for you is like buying any sex toy: It depends a lot on your unique body and tastes. And while that can make for an annoying Goldilocks shopping situation, it’s well worth your time to find a strap-on that checks all your boxes. Whether you’re searching for something for first-time strap-on sex or just generally still on the lookout for the right strap-on for you, there are a ton of options out there.
To help you decide which strap-on to take for a spin, we rounded up a mix of reviewer favorites and recommendations from sex educators and people who actually use them. Before we dive into the products themselves, here’s what you need to know about strap-ons and how to find the right one for you.
What to look for in your strap-on
When buying a strap-on, you’re typically buying two things: a harness and a dildo. You’ll often find beginner kits that include both to streamline the buying process, which can be excellent and affordable starter options. On the other hand, choosing a harness and a dildo separately can mean matchmaking the best fit for your preferences, since there are several factors to consider for each.
For this article, we included both combo kits and individual harnesses. (Dildos are another article entirely, but luckily many sex stores will include suggestions for which dildos to pair with your harness, so I promise I’m not leaving you entirely out to dry.)
Style
According to Ashley Cobb, founder and host of Sex With Ashley and sex-toy reviewer, harnesses typically come in three main styles: jockstrap, thong, and underwear. “[Jockstraps] look like a classic jockstrap, with straps around the waist and over each butt cheek,” she tells SELF. “Thongs [have] a strap around the waist and a strap that goes between the legs and between the butt cheeks. Underwear looks like a pair of underwear or boxers.” There are also less common styles, like thigh, chin, or chest harnesses; suspender harnesses; or strapless strap-ons, which require no harnesses at all.
Sizing
The style of harness typically informs the type of sizing available; jockstraps and thongs with adjustable straps usually come in one or two sizes and can fit a variety of bodies, whereas underwear harnesses are sized like similar articles of clothing. Adjustable harnesses might be a better choice if you plan on sharing your harness with a partner or want the option to adjust based on fluctuations in your body size.
Comfort and ease of use
Choosing a harness style is about how comfortable and stable it feels to wear and use, and these two factors can either go hand in hand or detract from each other, depending on the quality or type of your harness. Cobb says that the two-strap styles tend to have much better stability than the single-strap thong, which might make it easier for beginners to control.
Comfort is a bit more personalized. For example, some people find strappy harnesses uncomfortable and prefer ones that feel more like underwear, whereas others find underwear style harnesses restrictive and difficult to use. Certain styles might also lead to chafing, depending on the fit on your specific body. Cobb also recommends looking at how low the harness would sit on your body. “Will it press uncomfortably on the pubic bone?” she says. “You don’t want you or your partner to be in pain while using the strap-on.”
Material
You should also take into consideration the material, not only for comfort but for how easy it is to clean and share, if that’s something you plan on doing. “Harnesses can be leather or fabric,” says Cobb. “Leather tends to be stronger. However, it’s a porous material and is not meant to be shared because you can not sterilize it. Fabric or nylon harnesses are quite comfortable, washable, and can be used on multiple partners.”
Fabric is obviously a wide category, so check out the specific material to make sure it’s right for you and your tastes (personally, I can’t use nylon straps without feeling like I’m strapping into my childhood JanSport backpack, so…). And just like any underwear, some fabric is more breathable or better suited for moisture than others.
Dildo compatibility
Lastly, you’ll want to look at what’s known as the O-ring—the ring through which you stick a dildo. You want it to be the correct size for whatever size dildo you use with it, so check to make sure the diameters match up. Some harnesses come with multiple O-rings of different sizes that you can swap in and out, while others have elastic O-rings that can stretch to accommodate a variety of dildos.
Beyond that, there are a few more factors that might influence your taste as well (such as how a strap-on looks when you wear it or how easy it is to put on or swap out different dildos for more variety), but the above are solid starting points. With all that in mind, here are some of the best strap-ons and harnesses to choose from.
All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.