If some reports are to be believed, the asking price for Jadon Sancho dropped by £4.5m in four minutes. But first, some England nonsense…
Blondes have more nonsense
It’s inconsequential but it’s bothering Mediawatch more than is healthy that Phil Foden’s blonde hair is consistently referred to as ‘Gazza-inspired’ despite the fact that Phil Foden himself has repeatedly said that it was inspired by no such thing.
‘Entire England squad will get Gazza haircuts with bleach-blonde hair if they win Euro 2020, reveals Phil Foden’ is the headline (the top headline, no less) on The Sun website‘s football page. Does he mention Gazza? Does he balls. And why doesn’t be mention Gazza? Because it’s got nothing to do with Gazza. As he said last week:
“I’ve had the same haircut for ages now. I thought I’d try something new. I woke up this morning with a lot of comparisons to Gazza and Eminem, it was my own thing and people have turned it into something else.”
So no, Foden has not now ‘revealed’ that the ‘entire England squad will get Gazza haircuts’, he has revealed joked that the squad ‘have to get the same haircut as me’ if they win Euro 2020.
And The Sun are not the only culprits:
”Win the Euros and we’ll ALL get Gazza haircuts!’: Phil Foden reveals his England team-mates have agreed to copy his bleached-blonde hairstyle if they lift the European Championship trophy’ – MailOnline.
‘Phil Foden reveals England squad will go blonde like Gazza if they win the Euros’ – Evening Standard.
Win the Euros and will you ALL stop going on about Gazza?
Silver linings
This obsession with Euro 96 needs to f*** off for all our sakes.
But hopes are not high when the Daily Mirror football pull-out opts for a ‘HOSTS v GHOSTS’ (complete with spooky writing) headline.
‘GARETH SOUTHGATE may be forced to confront the Wembley ghosts of his past.’
He will indeed be forced to confront his Wembley ghosts, but only because the unimaginative media will do the forcing. We are certain that – as a sensible man – he is not quaking at the prospect of facing Germany at Wembley because of his own history in that fixture but because Germany are a pretty good football team.
‘This Saturday will mark the 25th anniversary of his penalty miss which shattered England’s hopes of Euro 96 glory.
‘And three days later it could be a case of ‘oh no, not again!’ for the Three Lions boss, who was consoled by keeper David Seaman after his spot-kick horror.’
Mediawatch is pretty damned sure he will not be allowed to take a penalty.
Sniff test
At least the Daily Star are obsessed with a slightly more recent Euros…
‘Story of Joachim Low’s time as Germany boss from World Cup glory to sniff apology’
‘Germany boss Joachim Low’s – who will step down after the Euros – ‘scratch and sniff’ explanation, from the infamous Euro 2016 incident, still makes no sense five years later’
You know what makes absolutely no sense at all? That you’re still sodding talking about it five years later.
A hint of sh*te
Raheem Sterling faced the press on Sunday and said he was very happy with England as he was playing regular football and “if you’re not playing, you’re not happy. That’s me, that’s been me since I was a kid, if I’m playing football I am really happy, if I’m not I’m not happy.”
So obviously on the Express website:
‘Raheem Sterling drops fresh Man City transfer exit hint as Arsenal linked to England star’
Sigh.
All about the Henderson
How to cover England at Euro 2020 when you are a Liverpool website and the only Liverpool player in the squad is yet to take the field? Like this obviously…
‘Jordan Henderson embraces Jack Grealish as Jose Mourinho proven right on Liverpool man’
If you are thinking that the Liverpool Echo could not have possibly eked out 565 words on a picture of Jordan Henderson with his arm around Grealish then you really do not fully understand the concept of This Means More.
NEW: Jordan Henderson embraces Jack Grealish as Jose Mourinho proven right on Liverpool man – @IanDoyleSport #lfchttps://t.co/Nz8JjrRgW6
— Liverpool FC News (@LivEchoLFC) June 19, 2021
‘Jordan Henderson not yet have kicked a ball at Euro 2020 [sic] but already the influence of the Liverpool skipper on the England squad is clear.’
Well, yes. To be fair, that 0-0 draw screamed Henderson.
‘After the final whistle was blown on Friday’s dismal goalless draw with Scotland, Henderson could be spotted embracing Jack Grealish as the Aston Villa midfielder trudged from the Wembley turf.
‘The duo have developed a friendship if clips from the England camp are any great barometer, sharing a joke about Champions League final attire in front of bemused Manchester City man Phil Foden.’
Well, it’s the only barometer we will respect. So it’s definitely worth a whole article.
But what of Jose Mourinho? How has he been ‘proven right on Liverpool man’ when we have not even seen Henderson in action? Well, here’s what he said on the subject of Henderson…
“Gareth took Maguire and Henderson with injuries. These are players who are so good, and so important, and they are so fundamental that in a group of 26 players it is not a problem to take players who are not in top form or fit, but they can do it.”
…so we think we can all agree that Jose has been vindicated after that image of Henderson with his arm around Jack Grealish.
Going down, going down, going down…
When you’re intent on re-writing every single morsel of transfer tittle-tattle then you run the risk of serious contradiction. Published within four minutes of each other just after midnight on Monday on the Express website were the following two stories:
‘Manchester United have agreed to pay Borussia Dortmund most of their £81.5million asking price for Jadon Sancho up front, according to reports. The England international is Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s main aim for the summer transfer window. And a blockbuster move to Old Trafford now seems close to completion’ – Published 00.01.
‘According to talkSPORT, the Bundesliga side have now set a final ‘take-it-or-leave-it’ demand for a deal worth £77m’ – Published 00.05.
And by 1.20am, Borussia Dortmund did not want anything at all.
Recommended reading of the day
Jonathan Liew on Germany
Melissa Reddy on Romelu Lukaku