Well folks, after years of requests, they’re finally here: the most tempting polygonal pastries ever put to PC, Sweetrolls from Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
I’ve been terrified to take on this digital dessert for years, but after developing a recipe using a buttery-sweet brioche, I think it’s finally ready for the main stage. [Insert joke about stealing sweet rolls here].
In honor of what many geeks consider to be the best game of 2011, I asked you guys which Skyrim food I should make a recipe for, and you guys chose the sweetroll! Although there’s a plethora of interesting foods in Skyrim, I really wasn’t surprised that sweetrolls won.
The appearance of sweetrolls in Bethesda games has been a running gag for most of the developers run, appearing in all of the games in the Elder Scrolls series, as well as Fallout 3. They look different from game to game, taking on a very large mountainous shape in Skyrim.
I pondered at how to achieve the most accurate size and shape for these delicious treats without anyone having to purchase any special mold. I found that the best way to Fus Ro Dah yourself up some sweetroll is to bake the rolls in a glass measuring cup, so you’ll need an oven-safe 16oz measuring cup (such as Pyrex) to do this. It is never really divulged what ingredients are in a sweet roll but most would agree that it seems to be similar to a cinnamon bun.
I went with a simple cinnamon bun cake recipe with cream cheese icing, and it is delicious. I suggest baking them on your day off before you begin playing for 15 hours straight and ignoring everything else you probably should be doing. I used to play Skyrim for 15 hours straight, until I took an arrow… OKAY, I won’t. Make sure no one steals your sweetroll!
EDIT: In addition to using a Pyrex, you can also buy one of these for the absolute perfect shape!
Ingredients:
For the cake:
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup milk
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tsp. baking powder
pinch of salt
2 tbs. cinnamon
1/4 cup butter, melted
For the filling:
1/4 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 Tbsp. cinnamon
1/2 cup chopped pecans
For the icing:
1/4 cup cream cheese, softened
2 tablespoons milk
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
Directions:
This recipe makes two sweet rolls. Depending on how many oven-safe measuring cups you have, you can either make one at a time or both at once. Preheat oven to 350. Mix dry cake ingredients together. Separately, mix wet cake ingredients together.
Add wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix thoroughly. Spray your oven-safe glass measuring cup with non-stick cooking spray. Add your batter to the measuring cup to the 1 cup or the 1 1/2 cup line, depending on how tall you want it. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 minutes or until your can stick in a knife and it comes out clean. Remove measuring cup from the oven. Let the cake cool. Once cake is cool, remove it from the measuring cup carefully so it does not break.
The cake is going to be upside down (so the wider part is at the bottom) and may be awkwardly rounded on the bottom side. To fix this, simply cut off the rounded bottom with a knife to make it level. Set the cake down with the wider leveled side on the bottom.
Use a spoon or fork to carve a hole at the top of the cake, this is where you will put the filling. To make the filling mix together the butter, pecans, cinnamon and brown sugar. Stuff the mixture into the hole you created. For the icing, whisk together the softened cream cheese, powdered sugar and milk until smooth and thick. Gently pour the icing on top of the cake. Serve or have it all to yourself! Remember, in Skyrim, stealing a sweetroll is punishable by a night in jail.