Dating Chinese Girls Do’s and Donts

by Sue Jones
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Due to cultural differences, dating a Chinese girl and getting anywhere at all can be an uphill battle at the best of times. Having dated a fair few Chinese girls I am so often asked what a guy should and shouldn’t do on a date with a Chinese girl. So, I decided to write this short article on the do’s and don’ts on a date with a Chinese female.

Do:

1. Be polite and gentlemanly on the first few dates until she reveals her true character to you. Some Chinese women really have a desire for the difference a westerner provides in a relationship; so, if you are simply like Chinese guys she has dated before it will bore her.

2. Compliment her on her clothing or hairstyle. Many Chinese women have simply made the effort with their appearance for you, even if it’s unclear that it is a possibly romantic date they are going on, they will still care about their appearance in front of you. You commenting on her appearance says you notice things that other men possibly don’t. This puts you in a strong position.

3. Be prepared to take the lead in the conversation unless she shows you she wishes otherwise. Many Chinese females are quite reserved on the first date and even quite a few subsequent ones. They rarely open up quickly unless they are a certain type of Chinese female.

Don’t:

1. Be over-confident; most Chinese people consider modesty to be a virtue in a male. I hear complaints from Chinese women all the time about dates they’ve been on where the guy couldn’t stop singing his own praises. Confidence may equal irritation and attraction in a western female, but this doesn’t translate in a Chinese girl very often.

2. Expect to get anywhere fast. In truth if a Chinese girl had wished ‘something’ to happen she would have invited herself around to your house instead of going out with you. The fact that she is going out on a date with you shows she wants to see you jump through a few hoops first. This can take some time dependent on the girl in question.

3. Make the assumption she will contact you to arrange the next date. That’s your job!

This list is by far incomplete, there are just so many points and nuances, situational and otherwise, that it’s just not possible to list all of them in an article of this length. An understanding of cultural background and the Chinese female psychology is also vital to ensure success!

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