There’s no right way to practice self-care. It looks different for all of us—ultimately, good self-care consists of whatever helps you feel cared for. That’s true for psoriatic arthritis self-care tips too. For people with psoriatic arthritis, an autoimmune condition that causes psoriasis symptoms plus issues like joint pain, stiffness, and swelling, self-care can be a huge help in managing the condition.
“For people with arthritis, every day needs to be a bit of a self-care day, because you have to think of yourself before you think of anything else,” Tanya G., 42, who was diagnosed 11 years ago but has had symptoms of psoriatic arthritis most of her life, tells SELF. Focusing on little things that can make your life easier—like having the right tools at your desk, or a talk-to-text app that you can use to email when your hands are flared—is self-care. Learning how to take things slowly and listening to your body is also self-care, says Annelyse A., 25, who creates artwork advocating for chronic illness on her Instagram account, Resting Itch Face. Surrounding yourself with people who care and support you? Also self-care.
Self-care simply boils down to taking care of yourself, says Tanya, sometimes in the most basic ways, and on an ongoing basis: “Self-care is an everyday thing.”
Here, Tanya, Annelyse, and Nitika C., 39, founder and CEO of Chronicon, a platform dedicated to elevating the lives of people with chronic illness, share the self-care practices and tips that have helped them live better with psoriatic arthritis.
1. Be prepared for bad days.
“You have to know what self-care means for you,” says Tanya. “For me, that means being prepared for bad days. Bad days will happen; they’re not going to magically go away. So what is going to be in my house that is going to support me on a bad day?” For Tanya, this means having a few things on hand: bath bombs, a good book on her Kindle, and medication she can use during a serious flare. It means thinking ahead and doing laundry on a good day so her compression socks are clean and ready when she needs them. And, of course, it also means having her favorite comfort foods, like chocolate, on hand.
2. Meditate.
“When I was really at my sickest in my 20s, I think the biggest thing that helped me was mindfulness,” Nitika tells SELF. “I didn’t grow up knowing about it, but it really changed me. It made me feel like I could really help myself feel better on the inside, which I saw helped how I was feeling on the outside.” Nitika says she noticed her stress levels go down when she learned how to stay present instead of letting the pain take over. Tanya also meditates—she swears by the Calm app, specifically a training program the app has for pain management. “I do it probably at least once a month to remember the steps for how to breathe through pain,” she says.
3. Laugh often.
While that “laughter is the best medicine” doesn’t necessarily apply when it comes to chronic pain, it can still make a difference in how you’re coping. “I’ve always known that friends and laughter were incredibly important,” Nikita says. When she was younger and unable to get out of the house easily, she would call a friend to just talk. Not about psoriatic arthritis or the pain she was in, but just 20-something things like a cute guy or a weird dream or something that happened on a TV show. “I remember that being so helpful. And even in times when that wasn’t enough because maybe I was in so much pain or had a really big flare-up, I started getting into the habit of looking at funny videos online, like Carpool Karaoke,” she adds. “It’s stupid and fun and makes me so happy, and it’s free.”
4. Surround yourself with supportive people.
For Tanya, self-care means making sure to surround herself with people who know that she may have to cancel plans and won’t judge her or get angry at her for it. On the flip side, that also means distancing herself from people who just don’t get it—or rather, those who don’t even attempt to understand. “There are some people who don’t get it who want to get it and say hurtful things because they just don’t get it but want to be there for you. And then there are people who just think you’re faking, and those are the people you have to distance yourself from,” Tanya says.
Online support groups, and simply following people with psoriatic arthritis on social media, can also be a huge source of support. “Social media is a lifeline for people to know they’re not alone,” Tanya says. “When you’re feeling like shit, being able to scroll and see other people dealing with the same stuff sort of alleviates some of the pain and burden.”
5. Find gentle ways to connect with your body.
“When you have a chronic illness, the last place you want to be is in your body,” Nitika says. It took her a lot of time and practice to find a way to be in her body and not be resentful or constantly trying to escape from it. Leaning into beauty—skincare, in particular—helped her do this. “I had to find things that were easy to do from bed,” she adds.
6. Foster positivity whenever you can.
Tanya says that a positive attitude has been key for her. “Keeping the right attitude is so important. You can’t get through this without it,” she says. To stay positive, try a few things and figure out what works for you. Tanya keeps an affirmation on her phone—“You’ve lived through this before, you can do it again”—to remind her that she’s had bad days before and has always made it through. She also documents bad days on her Instagram so that she can look back and remember how horrible she felt at that time and remember that she still made it through. You can also try keeping a gratitude journal to foster positivity every day.
7. Focus on the things you can control.
Psoriatic arthritis does what it wants, and sometimes, that can make you feel like everything is very out of your control, Nitika says. When this happens, she says she tries to focus on really simple things that she can control. “I might just do the few dishes that are in the sink if I’m feeling okay, and that’s it. I just remind myself that I’m doing the best that I can.” This is why she got really into skin care, she adds. “It wasn’t even about the end result of the skin care. It let me just slow down, be with myself, and feel like I was getting something done.”
8. Find a creative outlet.
Something Annelyse has found to be incredibly helpful is a creative outlet where she can express her feelings, which she sometimes hesitates to share with others for fear of being a burden. Even though having a chronic illness absolutely doesn’t make you a burden to your loved ones, it can still feel that way. So, a few months ago, Annelyse started writing articles and creating art that advocates for the chronically ill. “Expressive writing and creative art helped me in coping with my illness and dealing with my feelings,” she says. She’s also found that reading can sometimes help distract her from the pain.
9. Try to give yourself some grace.
Bad days happen. Don’t beat yourself up because you have to cancel plans (even virtual ones) or can’t get through your to-do list. “Allow yourself to have bad days and allow yourself the grace to heal during bad days too,” says Annelyse. “It’s okay if you just spent another day in bed again. It’s okay if you feel like crying, if you feel like things are getting bad again. Remember that relapse does not erase your progress, and having off days does not mean that you are not healing.”
Nitika adds that the easiest thing to do when she’s not feeling well is to beat herself up, but she tries to resist that impulse. “We’re constantly trying to be so perfect so our body doesn’t get sick, so there is some perfectionism around it,” she says. “I have to stop and say, ‘Today is going to be a day where I’m on the couch and I’m going to chill out and not feel bad about it.’” She still struggles with being kind to herself in these situations, and says “it’s a practice” that she has to commit to every single day.