When I lived in Italy a decade ago, the bathroom in my apartment came with a small sink for a child—or so I thought—but I later realized it was actually a bidet. For those who aren’t in the know, a bidet is essentially a fixture that you can crouch over to rinse off your intimate parts after using the toilet (or exercising or whatever activity that leaves you stinky). At first, being the American I am, the concept of a separate sink to wash my “netherlands” creeped me out. Growing up in the conservative South, I was taught to think of the crotch region of my body as gross and smelly, an area to be hidden away and explored as little as possible.
The more time I spent traveling abroad, however, seeing bidets practically everywhere but the U.S., the less bizarre they became. In my trips across countries like France and Turkey, it was standard to find them even in gas stations in rural towns. And in Japan—wow, Japan has bidets figured out. There I encountered electric self-cleaning bidets with heated seats (so good), adjustable water pressure, air deodorizers, and even music you could play to mask your unseemly sounds. All of this made me wonder why my home country is so averse to bidets. For a culture that seems obsessed with cleanliness and purity, why draw a line at washing our private parts? If anything, bidets make you cleaner, and they’re far better for the environment, since they both save on toilet paper and encourage less frequent showers.
Thankfully, bidets are starting to catch on in the States. There are now many models on the market, mostly as mechanical and electrical attachments that are simple to install (as opposed to buying a freestanding bidet). These attachments slide beneath your existing toilet seat, and the most basic forms are cheap (we’re talking roughly $30) and no-frills, generally featuring cold water with some ability to fiddle with the water pressure.
When the pandemic hit and a toilet paper shortage ensued, I decided, as did many others, that it was finally time to take the plunge(r) and buy my own big-girl bidet. After researching, I purchased a Tushy Spa, which doesn’t use electricity and includes temperature control (read: warm water) and an adjustable nozzle for hitting all your angles. I miraculously installed this bidet myself, which is possible with pretty much all models, and I freaking love it. I feel so clean and I use significantly less T.P.
A few crucial notes I’ll make: (1) “The water is cold!” I hear you protesting. Honestly, this is not a big deal, IMO. It’s not like the bidet shoots a freezy pop at your bum. It’s just water. Your body can handle it, or you can just buy a model that includes warm water, which is admittedly nice on chilly nights. (2) Your first time using a bidet is almost always uncomfortable. I advise you to not get too wild when it comes to testing out water pressure control; start as low as it goes before increasing pressure. It’ll take a little time to adjust, but when you do, there’s no going back!
Below, a selection of best-selling bidet attachments you can really get behind, from affordable, unfussy attachments to top-of-the-line toilet toppers. Here’s wishing you the happiest of bidets.
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